Home... and Juggling

Dorothy Gale said it best: There's no place like home. Our Christmas travel adventure has come to an end. Emily made it to New York City and back (for a wedding) and Colin survived the solo Amtrak journey home, with a stopover in San Luis Obispo for a New Year's Tradition - the 15th Annual Xtina Warren Ball Drop.

Now, as a special bonus, we leave you with video that will forever remind us our White Christmas adventure in snowy Oregon.

Christmas Round Up

Why must Christmas come but once a year? But indeed, this most Christmas-y of holidays has come and gone yet again. And after dreaming of a white Christmas, Colin and Emily (and Car Woody and Isis) found those dreams coming true.

The town of Blue River, OR, has been hovering right around the 32 degree mark for the last couple days, and when the skies opened up for a typical daily Oregon rain shower, it was the fluffy white stuff that came spiraling gently to the ground. Colin and Emily even engaged in a good, old fashioned snowball fight. Emily went out the front door, Colin the back, each with their own snowball fight strategy. Colin quickly set up a line of defense, lining the porch railing from the back of the house around the side of the house with medium size ammunition. Emily, on the other hand, formed 4 large snowballs, gathered them up in her arms and ran over enemy lines on the attack. Colin’s trap was well laid and Emily, falling victim to Colin’s rapid fire capabilities, quickly retreated. Colin’s biggest mistake of the day was ducking. This was a problem only because Emily, at close range, launched a snowball at Colin’s shoulder. Emily’s biggest mistake of the day was launching a snowball at Colin’s shoulder. This was a problem only because Colin ducked, was hit in the head, and then retaliated by capturing Emily and stuffing snow down her back.


When we last left you, we were headed for Eugene’s Holiday Market, a giant bazaar of all sorts of handmade items – leather goods, candles, toys, hemp hoodies, one of a kind purses (made from all manner of recycled materials, such as horse feed bags or 1970’s-era Little Golden Books), artwork, photos, incense… If hippies like it, you can find it at Eugene’s Holiday Market. But for us, the highlight of the Market was the 11 year old boy screeching out Christmas songs on his violin. Most people were passing by, but a kind woman did go up to him and asked this beginning musician, “How long have you been playing?” He looked up at the clock and said, “About twenty minutes.” It was precious, and who knows, it may have been accurate.

Julie and Oni, Colin’s relatives, arrived in their Mini-Winnie from the Southern Oregon Coast. They were quickly suckered into a game of Poker with the Campbell family’s new secret weapon, Emily. She slow played them until all they had left was their Mini-Winnie and a story.

Christmas Eve Day: We awoke to Dr. Kathy Campbell’s SCRAPPLE, a combination of shredded pork shoulder (“the fattier the better”) and white cornmeal, cooked, cooled, cut, fried, then smothered in butter and syrup!

From there it was off to Harbicks, the local store owned and operated by one of Emily’s favorite TV personalities – Big Brother Season 8’s Kail. To Emily’s chagrin, Kail was not to be found, but Colin and Emily did find 5 varieties of Super Glue, perfect for the Holiday Themed Wedding Monkeys, this year’s Christmas project.

Following in the footsteps of their Holiday Themed Egyptian Christmas Ornaments, and last year’s wildly successful Hawaiian Themed Christmas Dinosaurs, this year’s project would pay tribute to Colin and Emily’s upcoming nuptials.


After spending the afternoon super gluing our fingers together and covering ourselves in glitter, we headed for Belknap Hot Springs where it’s 90+ degrees in the water and 30 degrees out of the water. Refreshed, relaxed with super glue and glitter melted away, we returned home to a Christmas Eve feast prepared by Julie and Oni. Then it was off to bed with strict instructions to stay in our rooms until at least 9 a.m. when we could be sure Santa had worked his magic.

Christmas Morning: Cinnamon Rolls (they were a little doughy this year!), eggnog, stockings stuffed with candy and dreidels (!), plus a variety of presents. In the Holiday Irony department, Santa brought Colin not one, but two copies of the New York Times best-seller, “It’s All Too Much: An Easy Plan For Living a Richer Life With Less Stuff”. Colin, take a hint! (First order or business – getting rid of one copy). We spent the rest of the day playing with our presents, including a very nice myrtle wood bowl and a selection of Burt’s Bees products, courtesy of Julie and Oni. (Thanks, guys!) Colin got his traditional Star Trek calendar, but sadly, the package delivery gods at DHL are continuing to transport Emily’s big Lego set, failing to meet not only the pre-Christmas deadline, but, it looks like, the pre-departure deadline as well. (Way to go, guys…)

Other highlights from the variety of Christmas festivities:

--Playing a game of “Newshound” with two journalism doctors, and surviving. (It’s like Trivial Pursuit, but with all questions about the news – Emily played especially well.)


--Doctor Kathy Campbell’s traditional Christmas dinner was a hit; turkey (carved by Oni), stuffing, mashed potatoes and a truly decedent gravy, King’s Hawaiian rolls, black cherry Jell-o with black cherries and cream cheese balls… all of the classics.

--Another two nights of poker; congratulations to winners Oni and Dr. Steve Ponder. Silver medalist both nights: Colin, who can tell you exactly what cards fell on the river to beat him on both nights. (Oni rivered a seven for a winning set of trips, Steve filled up an inside straight draw with a ten…)

--Emily also dealt an hour or two of blackjack for Oni and Dr. Kathy Campbell. This went well… for Emily, who immediately wanted to start a home blackjack game as “the house.” You know, because the house always wins? Other than being totally illegal and a bit immoral, Colin supports this idea wholeheartedly.

--Emergency repairs to Oni and Julie’s Mini-Winnie, as the Blue River snowfall gummed up the works on their deployable side awning. A call to the Good Sam club launched the local Blue River mechanic, who came right over and banged just the right spot to retract the awning, allowing Oni and Julie to hit the road without a starboard wing.


--Doctor Campbell and Doctor Ponder’s Boxing Day River Walk! It’s a two part process which begins with a walk along the Willamette River in downtown Eugene, and ends with a “warming” at a local brew pub. A lovely walk, filled with ducks, geese, and only occasional sprinkles.


--And finally, a planned second trip to the hot springs, which was canceled due to the fact that Colin and Emily were snowed in! Oh, we tried to take the truck out of the driveway and up to the road, but the snow proved too much! So instead, we returned to home base, to update the blog (finally!), stay warm, snack, and even make a snow angel. (Emily is always Colin’s snow angel…)


And that was just fine. Because some of the best times here at the Doctors' house on the river are spent at the dinning room table, looking out at the McKenzie, binoculars at the ready, hoping to spot a merganser or heron flapping by, large, wet clumps of snow falling from the trees while a steady snowfall coats the yard, painting it as white as Santa’s beard.

A snow angel...



... makes a snow angel.



Special bonus for reading this far! A video message from Emily!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to you and your family, from Colin, Emily, Isis, and Car Woody!

Stealing a Tree (Almost)

First off, let’s wrap up the Amtrak journey, by saying the steak on the train was pretty dang good. Our cabin attendant Brian was kind enough (okay, it was his job) to serve us in our sleeper car, and it was only later, when we were telling him how good the steak was, that he suddenly remembered, “Oh, I was supposed to bring you a steak knife!” Colin told him it was okay that he’d forgotten, as Emily had taken pity on Colin’s strenuous cutting efforts, and had refused to taste a steak piece he had labored (and it was a chore) to cut.

Now, the Amtrak sleeper car for two is many things. (“Made in 1953” comes to mind.) But one thing it is not is roomy. Especially on the top bunk – the bunk that had already made a play for Emily’s finger. But Emily, a forgiving sort, decided to sleep up top. That involves climbing up a shallow set of pseudo-stairs, and rolling ones self in to bed, then strapping in with a multiple strap system held in place by a mountain climbing-style carabiner.
So it’s no wonder that Emily woke up at about four in the morning, yelling for Colin to “get me out of here!” Claustrophobia is a no good at any time of day, much less four in the morning, but Colin did manage to free the princess from what bound her, and, with a calming walk down the corridor to stretch her legs, a bottle of water and her iPod, Emily was back to dreamland shortly.

The next morning, Colin took another chance on social dining, and struck gold, with the very nice Marie and Doug. Stanford types, grandparents, good folks, fun to chat with, and even the shy Emily eventually stopped by to join in the breakfast fun. (Sleeping Car attendant Brian was returning our room to “day mode” at the time.) Colin had the French toast – not bad!

Meanwhile, we were in for a real treat. The scenery on the train – incredible! We got up to about the five-thousand foot level through Southern Oregon, and it had recently been dusted with a good amount of snow, turning the entire landscape into a winter wonderland.

Emily, still perhaps feeling the effects of her late-night bout of claustrophobia, slept.

The train arrived in Eugene about a hour and a half late – not as bad as some times, but not as good as it recently had been doing. Still, Colin’s mom and her husband Steve were there, and soon, we were headed up the river, to a warm house and a hot bowl of chili.

Saturday highlights included French toast – Mom style – and a trip to Walterville to procure a Christmas tree! Lots of fun, especially when it seemed like the people who ran the Christmas tree farm had left for the day, leaving their stock unprotected and ripe for the taking. Someone did show up before we were able to abscond with our tree (we were planning on paying anyway, really, we were!). The holiday cheer of the proprietor was evident, and she sent us home with our seven-foot Turkish fir. Then it was time for a session of decorating and garland making – turns out, it’s not as easy to string popcorn as you might think. (Car Woody managed to get in some mischief with last year’s Hawaiian themed Christmas Dinosaurs, but everything is okay now.) And now, with lights blinking away on a wonderfully decorated tree, the thermometer reading about 33 degrees outside, it’s time to bundle up for a long winter’s nap! More of Colin’s relatives are coming tomorrow… and we’re visiting the all-time Eugene hippie hangout, the Holiday Market. Don’t miss it!

Picking a tree...


Car Woody makes friends...

Steaks on a Train

Live, from the Coast Starlight, it’s our Christmas Vacation! Yes, Emily, Colin, Isis and Car Woody have hit the road again, or shall we say, the tracks, as we set our sights on Eugene, Oregon, and a visit with Colin’s Dr. Mom. (That’s Colin’s “Dr. Mom,” not Colin’s doctor’s mom.)

So far, the ride has been pretty smooth – and, surprisingly for Amtrak, on time! In fact, we’re only about ten minutes late here in Paso Robles, no small feat for this notoriously late-running train.

We’re probably going to have dinner tonight in our sleeper car; the “social dining” aspect of train travel dealt us a couple of duds for lunch, and there’s really no need to go through that experience again. So, more updates as they become available. Oh, and Emily almost lost her right index finger to a particularly nasty top-berth lowering incident. The finger looks like it’ll be fine, but we’re still not sure about the nail. Will it regrow in time for the wedding?

Yikes, since we last blogged, Emily and Colin got engaged! Yay for us!

Love to all of our family and friends, including the nearly ex-cocker JoJo! (And why was he nearly an ex-cocker? More on that Christmas calamity later…)

Coasting Under the Starlight

Car Woody started it.

He's the one who wanted to have a good, old fashioned holiday vacation. And he's the one who suggested taking the train. (It was common sense that led Colin and Emily to decide that for this year's train trip to Eugene, OR, we'd pop for the sleeper car accomodations.)

But I bet Car Woody will love that, too.

So we're packing up Isis, we're packing up Car Woody, we're leaving Siarvee behind, and leaving the driving to Amtrak. Christmas vacation... here we come!

EPILOGUE: The Voyage Home

Being back is exhausting! "We'll post an update later tonight," turned into a day and a half of decompression, depression and recovery. We're back to "life." Colin produced an hour of news today and Emily spent her two hours in traffic (oh how she misses the open road).

The final leg of our trip, Flagstaff to Los Angeles, was marked by two distinct parts of the journey. The first part - mountainous desert and vast sandy plains - was characterized by desolation and openness. The second part - say, the part where you get on the I-15 just south of Barstow - was marked by good, old fashioned Los Angeles smog and stop and go traffic. Isis particularly didn't enjoy the traffic, continually updating our estimated arrival time to the point where her normally reliable travel time prediction was off by about 45 minutes. Isis forgot what L.A. traffic was like. So did we.

And is there a worse feeling in the entire world than blasting across America, open road at your feet, for nearly three weeks, only to have to hit the brakes for a stop-and-go final 45 miles to home?

Also, a tip for future travelers: Grab that last gas at the trucker rest stop thing in Arizona, because once you cross the border to Needles, they bend you over. Most expensive gas of the trip, but after crossing all that desert, you need it. And they know it. Ouch!

When we got home, we were greeted by two loved ones - Emily's mom, Jody, who prepared a fantastic welcome home picnic lunch for us, and, of course, JoJo, the world's cutest (and, we guess, oldest) puppy. JoJo was sad we'd left his potential brother/sister behind in Clarksville, but he's still top dog in this household, at least for now.

So now, we're back. It's all over. A 5200-mile journey across America, finally come to an end.

Thanks for coming along on the ride. We'll continue to post for a little while longer -- still some wrapping up and some fun "top three" lists to come -- if you'll keep reading.

DAY 18: Finding Exit 16

We made it home. The loop is complete, and what a loop it was. We'll post an update later tonight.

Mood: Glad to be back.

DAY 17: Dinged!

Or, "I went to Santa Fe and all I got was this lousy hole in my windshield."

It was a day of progress, as we covered large chunks of ground, but that progress came at a price - a price that will be determined by the fine folks at Robertson Honda on Monday. Other than Emily's falls and Colin's visit to Kansas City's St. Luke's Emergency Room, the trip has been carefree, worry free, hassle free and generally uneventful (in a good way). And then, today, the second to last day of our trip, we started to "review". We talked about the trip being carefree, worry free, hassle free and generally uneventful (in a good way), and then, just because we'd been talking about it, something not-so-great happened. As we approached the first serious traffic jam of our 4,500 or so mile trek, a rock came flying at the windshield - we were dinged! It's a small crack, not unlike the millions of small windshield cracks suffered by drivers every year. Still, to come this close, with an almost entirely "clean" trip was perhaps asking too much. If a dinged windshield is the worst of our car troubles this trip, we've done pretty well.

Today we awoke in Amarillo, Texas. (It happens.) We got in late last night, went straight to bed, woke right up and hit the road. Emily started the day in the driver's seat. She almost made it all the way to Santa Fe (a good 200 miles) and then Colin took over. Santa Fe, a little out of our way, was a bonus stop - recommended by many, we knew the city was not to be missed. When we got there, the main town square was packed! Today was "Fiesta de Santa Fe." There were tourists everywhere, so we fit right in. It was a festival of food, music, dancers, artists, and the most amazing part, we found parking. So what did we do? We ate, we shopped, and then in Colin and Emily fashion, we ate some more. Technically, the first feeding was just a snack, an ear of freshly roasted corn dipped in butter (of course!) that we shared. The second feeding was lunch. If you're ever in Santa Fe, be sure to go to Cafe Pasquals - one of our best meals on this trip, and we've had many. (Thanks Doug and Mary for the recommendation.)

After lunch we gave up our prime parking spot to some other lucky couple. We headed south to Albuquerque (where we were dinged...grrr!), and then turned west until we could drive no more. Our last sunset of the trip (we're optimipistic that tomorrow's sundown will be seen from the comfort of home) was stunning.

We spent most of yesterday and today following the old Route 66. This morning, to get Emily enthused about driving, we sang along to Chuck Berry's rendition of "Route 66." Oklahoma City was mighty pretty, we Gallup-ed through New Mexico, and just before settling in for the night, we didn't forget Winona, and stopped for gas. The best part? Printed on the bottom of the gas receipt was "Don't Forget Winona!!!" How could we?

When we checked in to the hotel tonight, we received one special bonus. A free hour! Yes, Flagstaff is on Pacific time, and now, so are we. Home is just over the horizon. 4,500 miles down... five hundred to go.

Current Mood: Almost Home - Happy and Sad

Current Location:

DAY SIXTEEN: Hello, Oklahoma, Goodbye, Oklahoma

A day. This was a day.

Highlights: The Clinton Presidential Library and Museum. Being willingly kidnapped by our hotel shuttle driver for an impromptu tour of Little Rock. Buying Clinton gear at the museum store.

And then, driving. Lots of driving. And when the only real break from the driving is a stopover at the Oklahoma City National Memorial, well, the second half of the day was a tad on the draining side.

We did, however, make it safely around a Texas-sized thunderstorm (oh, the lightning!), and have hunkered down for the night in Amarillo, TX. Back on the road tomorrow, as the closer home gets, the more we want to get there.

Current mood: Ready for bed!

Current location:

DAY FIFTEEN: Elvis Has Left the Building

We woke up in Memphis this morning, and are spending the night in Little Rock, Arkansas. And while these two cities are just about 120 miles apart, we feel like the day was spent well! After a delicious breakfast in Memphis at the Blue Plate Cafe, we saw the ducks make their way in to the fountain at the famed Peabody Hotel. (It's only moderately oversold... it's actually quite darling.) Then some shopping in and around downtown Memphis got us warmed up for the shopping extravaganza that is a trip to Graceland.

Now, Colin had a saying about Graceland before the visit: "It is every American's God-given right to be disappointed by a trip to Graceland." But afterward, he wasn't disappointed at all. Instead, it was Emily who ended up wondering, "What was the big deal with this Elvis guy, anyway?" And while a lesser man may have decided at that point to make the journey westward a solo mission, Colin did allow Emily back in the car, and it was off to Little Rock.

It was rainy, very rainy during the trip. Which was, you know, not ideal driving weather. But what can you do? We holed up in the hotel for the night, played cards, did laundry, and decided this night was just what we needed to recharge the batteries for the long drive home.

And we'll start that journey in earnest tomorrow. After a visit to the Clinton library, of course.

More posting as we find roadside WiFi to post with!

Current Mood: Elvis'd Out

Current Location:

DAYS 10 – 14 PART TWO: I'm Considering, I'm Considering...

Continued tales from the family reunion…

Here’s the thing about the hayride at the Burke Kerr Newton O’Brien family reunion. You need to go early. There’s a hayride near ‘bout every hour, on the hour, but the later the day gets, the more tractor driver and reunion host Kevin Burke has been, uh, enjoying the adult beverages. So if there’s one piece of advice Emily received, repeatedly, it was this – go on the hayride, early.

So she did, climbing aboard with Colin and about fifteen other souls for an off-road excursion through the Indiana countryside.

And, in a hayride first, halfway through the ride, we had to bail.

Turns out, Kevin was driving extra cautiously (it was early), and so, all of us hopped off the back of the trailer, while Kevin negotiated an especially steep ditch. We then hopped back on, and the ride continued uneventfully. (By “uneventfully,” we mean there were no more than the average amount of branches snapping back in to the hay riders faces, and that no souls were lost overboard. This is not always the case…)

Emily met wave after wave of Colin’s relatives, and near relatives. Oddly, some of the nicest people at the “family” reunion are what we would consider third cousins, four times removed… or what Colin’s Grandma would call, “strangers.” These were the friends of the family, a group that, at times, threatened to outnumber actual descendents of the O’Brien clan, and included a very nice young husband, wife, and newborn whom we met near the volleyball courts. (Hi, Wiley, Missy, and baby Joss! Thanks for letting us babysit… your camera. Read the past entries of the blog, and that should explain the photo we took of Car Woody while you were off on the hayride…)

There was, as always, a lot of volleyball played, but not by your intrepid but injury prone bloggers. Colin usually plays a game or two; Emily was thrice injured in the week leading up to the game (slip and fall in Kansas City, tough tumble in St. Louis, and “ego” bruised, too), and was listed as “doubtful” and a game-time decision on the Vegas tip sheets. We both later did get some volleyball practice in, and look forward to someday leading a team of O’Brien descendants including Colin’s siblings Alanna (6’0”), Morgan (6’1”), and cousins Cody (at least 6’2”) and Ryan (about the same) to volleyball victory over the much shorter Kerr/Burke branch of the family tree. Plus, any game interrupted by Kevin Burke's smoked meat breaks... well, that's a game you've got to enjoy. (Car Woody checked out the barbecue and smoker situation, and pronounced it "delicious.")

As has been tradition at the last few reunions, Colin organized a tournament game of poker. Five dollars to buy in, and with seven takers, first place was worth 25 bones, with the silver medalist doubling their initial investment and taking home a ten-spot. Everyone else got nothing. It should come as no surprise that FCOR (First cousin, once removed) Dale was the big winner; he’s played a few hands of poker down at the firehouse, no doubt. And also no surprise, to anyone who’s ever played with her, was Emily’s second place showing. Emily threw down, betting strong and kicking cousins to the curb, claiming victory in a hard fought battle with Cody for the money bubble spot. (Going out third when the top two places pay out is harsh… Sorry, Cody!) As a side bonus, Emily’s poker win also gave her and FCOR Dale something to talk about, besides fishing and bow hunting. (After Colin wrote this part, Emily said: “You know, that’s really funny, but I want to make it clear that I enjoyed talking to him! You know, that’s not the only thing we talked about… I really liked him!” Okay, it’s clear.)

Emily later more than earned her O’Brien credentials, answering the call for the last hayride of the day. Survive the seven o’clock ride, and you join an elite group of daredevils and thrill seekers. (It’s been said that “surviving the final hayride” was a stunt deemed “too extreme” for the recent Jackass movie.) Was it that bad? In a word, yes. But again, through an act of providence (and not Providence Health Care systems), there were no injuries to report.

We were among the last to leave the reunion, and certainly among the first on the list of those who enjoyed and appreciated it. We took great pride in being strong contenders for the prize for “people who came the furthest to attend the reunion.” But our greatest satisfaction and joy came from the number of people (Popps, mostly) at the reunion who came up to us and said they enjoyed the blog, and, more importantly, enjoyed Car Woody. Yay!

Remarkably, it was after this full day of reunion excitement that our day finally started to get interesting. How interesting? Well, Jo Jo, our much-missed cocker spaniel, almost got a new big brother/big sister, and Emily cemented her reputation as a force to be reckoned with, in the world of big-time riverboat gambling.

Let’s start with the pit bull.

Driving home from the reunion, Colin and Emily took a city street that cut in front of the world’s second largest clock. It was here they found the world’s second cutest puppy (Jo Jo, of course, being first…), just out for an evening stroll. The problem being, this evening stroll was more than a bit dangerous for the dog, what with it being in the middle of a street and all. So Colin rolled down his window, and tried to tell the dog to get home. The dog wanted no part of that. It wanted “in.” It wanted to go for a ride. It wanted… love? Attention? Affection? Who knows? But when Colin popped open the car door, this puppy was more than happy to spring up in to the CR-V, and see what new adventures awaited.

This was a strong dog, with a strong body, strong muscles, strong jaws, and a strong, affectionate personality. Holding it, and trying to calm it down a bit, it was easy to see how this type of dog could go horribly wrong. Emily took over dog holding duties, while Colin fumbled for a cell phone, trying to come up with a backup plan, since Plan A - get the dog’s name and maybe a phone number from the dog’s collar tag - wasn’t going to work. This pup wasn’t wearing a collar. And he/she (we never checked) was getting a bit more rambunctious. Emily did a good job keeping her voice calm and happy and soothing, while calmly, happily, soothingly saying, “I don’t think I can keep holding him, Colin! He’s going to jump out the window!” He didn’t, but eventually, the best plan we could come up with (and by we, this included Clarksville firefighter Uncle Fred) was to return the dog where we found him, get him out of the street, and sternly tell him to go home. (They don’t have 24-hour animal shelters in Clarksville, we were told.)

And so we did. We dropped him in a safe location, and sternly told him to go home. He sternly hopped up, putting his paws on the ledge of the car window, not wanting to go. Eventually, he did move safely out of the way, and we were off, leaving behind a mysterious friend, with hope that home was waiting for him, somewhere in the Clarksville night.

Because at that point our day hadn’t yet been exciting enough, we decided to continue our tour of America’s riverboat casinos, because, you know, we’re Harrah’s Gold Card holders now, and we were sure that they were just going to be so damn excited to see us and our big money (Ten dollars in slots! Whoo!!) sitting down at the Caesar’s Indiana Riverboat Casino, conveniently located just ten miles down the road.

They certainly were excited in the poker room, where Colin gave a few lessons in “How Not to Win at Low Limit Hold ‘Em.” Ugh!

But the big winner of the night was again Miss Emily Moss, who parlayed a $0.25 bet at her new favorite game, video poker, in to a $68.75 payout when the machine coughed up a royal flush. Ah, if only all gambling was this easy. (Emily: “It was skill!” Please note – she spun a royal flush, not having to make any decision about which cards to keep.)

Emily’s winnings were quickly cashed out, because Emily is the smart gambler. Colin’s winnings were… well, entirely hypothetical. So White Castle, at 2:00am, on our way back in to Clarksville, was on Emily. (We managed to feed “The Crave,” as it’s known, on just about every day of our visit.)

After Sunday’s reunion fun, we had decided to spend a final day in Clarksville, to let America have the roads to themselves. No fun driving on Labor Day! So we went only as far as the Louisville tourist trap and former VISA commercial star Lynn’s Paradise Café. Ugh! Nightmare! The wait for a table? About an hour. Once we had been seated, and our order was taken, the wait for the food to be made and brought to our table? Another 45 minutes! Yikes! It would be one thing if the waitress said to us, “Uh, folks, it’s batshit crazy in here today, cuz of the holiday and all, and three of the cooks called in sick, but we know they were just out having a little too much fun last night, but end result is, it’s gonna be more than a while until we can get you that biscuits and gravy.” Instead, we got zip, zilch, nada, nothing…just a very, very long wait for our order to arrive. Customer service, apparently, is off the menu, at Lynn’s Paradise Café, and it should be avoided at all costs. (Oohh! Busted!)

It was also closing day for the Cincinnati Reds Triple-A farm team, the Louisville Bats, and by the time we got over there to Louisville Slugger stadium, thanks to the Lynn’s debacle, the game was already in about the third inning. However, this did help in the ticket acquisition department, as people were literally giving away ducats to the season-closing affair by the time we arrived. The price was definitely right. We stayed for a while, took in the flavor (Car Woody had himself a big Pepsi and $1 hot dog), then fled the heat and headed back over the bridge for a final evening in Indiana.

FCOR Dale was kind enough to thaw out and fry us some fish (bluegill, mostly, and it was delicious). It should also be pointed out, as it was by FCOR Dale, that this was just “frying up some fish,” and not an official, Dale-sanctioned FishFry™. That involves a whole lot more in the way of fish preparation (although really, the bigger scale is apparently the primary determining factor). Regardless, the hospitality shown by all the FCOR’s was much, much appreciated.

And as for Tuesday, we were back to our “road routine.” Make sure everything was packed and in place. Make sure the drinks were iced and the cooler was full. Make sure both Car Woody and Isis, our trusty GPS, were in position and ready to go. (They’re getting along a lot better these days, and Isis is especially excited about tomorrow’s planned trip to Graceland. However, Car Woody thinks we should ditch it, and spend the day at the Sun Records studios. Car Woody is all about keeping it real.) We cruised through Nashville, enjoyed a delicious brunch at the famed Pancake Pantry (thanks for the tip, St. Louis friend Robynn!), and updated the blog at a cool coffee shop called Fido. Then, Emily took the wheel for the trip to Memphis, where it was ribs tonight at Blues City Café. Emily liked ‘em better than Kansas City ribs, but Colin thought there was nothing wrong with them that a little Arthur Bryant sauce wouldn’t cure… A split decision between America’s rib capitals! We closed the evening following the siren song of Mr. Rudy Williams and his trumpet, which lured us in to listening to some blues guitar at a quiet New Orleans-style jazz club on Beale Street. Colin was only mildly disappointed; he wanted to meet Gus Cannon, and see the jug band show…


So now, off to bed, with another big day planned for tomorrow - which will be the beginning of our third week on the road. Seriously, now, where does the time go? Upcoming highlights: Graceland! President Clinton! Texas! Adventure!

Links: See the world’s second largest clock:

http://www.gearthhacks.com/dlfile23190/Worlds-2nd-Largest-Clock.htm

Update your blog in Nashville:

http://www.bongojava.com/fido.html

See some jazz in the home of the blues:

http://www.kingspalacecafe.com/home.htm

Current mood: Feeling not unlike Paul Simon (“We’re going to Graceland, Graceland, Memphis, Tennessee…”)

Current location:

DAY TEN THROUGH FOURTEEN: Reunion Successful, California Bound!

First off, we found Exit Zero.

Second off, we're off!

We're in Nashville, Tennessee, now, having successfully braved hordes of family members at the bi-annual extravaganza that is the Burke-Kerr-Newton-O'Brien family reunion. The most important of all unanswered questions - just who the hell are the Kerrs, anyway? - was finally answered, albeit a day after the actual reunion itself. Over the long holiday weekend, fish was fried, fun was had, baseball games were seen, corn holes were filled, volleyballs were volleyed, hay rides were survived, poker was played (and Emily has developed quite the reputation as a riverboat gambler...), distant relatives were avoided, bugs bit, bats were bought, Bardstown Road was trendy, Alanna blew in from the East Coast, we drove in from the West Coast, and the whole thing was a blast.

Friday, we started with lunch at the Jeffersonville staple, the Wall Street Cafe. ("Best Ham Sandwich in Clark County," although, to be fair, we didn't sample them all...) And if you go to the Wall Street Cafe in Jeffersonville, Indiana, bring your appetite, and bring your VISA card. Oh, wait... the VISA card actually won't do you any good. Cash only. Which meant Emily had to wait behind while Colin ran out to the nearby ATM. (At least in Tiffany's Diner in St. Louis, they have an ATM for the forgetful right in the building.) We did manage to escape dish duty, and Colin bought Emily's freedom after making a cash withdrawal nearby.

Colin and Emily then toured the Louisville Slugger museum, where Colin ended up suffering what could qualify as the most bizarre injury on this trip so far: bruised hands. You see, after the tour of the factory floor, where you see all the major league bats being made, you're invited to step in to a batting cage, and swing a Slugger against a pitching machine labeled "40 miles an hour." A museum employee said to Colin, "It's really more like 60. We put 40 so people aren't afraid..." Great. Colin selected a carefully crafted 34-ounce piece of ash, and stepped in to take his swings. 30 carefully considered machine pitches later, Colin's hands were buzzing. (Any wood bat swingers out in the blogosphere? Dang, those "stings" hurt.) He did get good wood on a couple of pitches that definitely would have been hit deep, deep to, well, at least shortstop. Four days later, the hands are still a little stung. Next time - aluminum!

First cousin once removed Susan then hosted an evening at her house, and there's good news for fans of Susan's cooking - she's up to using five whole ingredients! (Thanks, Food Network!) Truth be told, Susan whipped up a delicious calzone (and followed it up with incredibly delicious and chewy brownies), and was a wonderful host, along with her husband Michael and their effervescent seven (and three quarter) year-old daughter Sydney. (By comparison, Susan is seven and 160 quarter years old...) Emily was the big winner at table tennis, giving both Syndey and Alanna a thumping. But it should be pointed out, in the interest of full disclosure, that she managed only a split in her two full games with Colin. (Emily comes from a long line of Indiana tennis champions, so her success on this home court should have been predicted.)

Saturday was a good day for reunion prep - Aunt Margie took Colin and Emily shopping to "Wally World" ... a.k.a. Wal-Mart, where America shops for value, and ridiculously cheap groceries. Yes, we felt shame, but it was a good kind of shame. A money-saving kind of shame... and isn't that the best kind?

Colin and Emily then hit Bardstown Road for a second, more thorough visit to Ear X-tacy for more record shopping, and a quick visit to Skyline Chili (Mmmm... five way chili!). That night, Margie and boyfriend Neill whipped up some of Grandma Pat's famous recipe barbecued pork, and we grilled up a few brats to go with, then sat around and played cards for most of the night. All in all, another great day.

Sunday. Reunion day. Only one way to start it: With one of Uncle Fred's famous deep fried eggs, bacon, and grits spectaculars. As always, Fred's breakfast skills did not disappoint. Then it was over to Aunt Margie's, to prep two dozen deviled eggs for the reunion. Once that was done (turns out, a little Tobasco sauce really fires up the eggs quite nicely), we swung by KFC to pick up a bucket of chicken and goodness to contribute to the potluck, and it was off to the Burke farm.

Kevin Burke and his wife Jeanne are great hosts, and they graciously allow the family to go crazy out at the farm every other year. There's a pool, there's a volleyball court, there's barbecue grill space available, along with a variety of eight-hour smoked meats (and you've never seen a time out in Volleyball met with so much enthusiasm as when Kevin stops the game to bring out some smoke venison or pork shoulder), and a table filled with every casserole known to man. Emily: "There's lots of mayonaisse. It's true!" There certainly was. Emily also sampled the local sweet tea, which she pronounced tasted "like syrup." And that's a bad thing? Note: FCOR (First cousin once removed) Dale tasted it, and said, "I thought this was supposed to be sweet..." That, among many reasons, is why we love FCOR Dale. Another would be, when he first met Emily, he asked, "So, do you have any hobbies? You know, like skeet shooting?" (Colin made plans right there to get a T-shirt made for Emily by next reunion, reading "Free the Skeets.")

There's much more to tell, of course, but Emily and Colin are anxious to get back on the road, headed for Memphis. So there's likely to be more blogging later tonight, but for now, we're signing off from Music City.

Current Mood: Getting back! (Back on the road, back to blogging, back to California)

Current location:

DAY NINE: Eureka!

Greetings from Louisville, Kentucky! (We went a little too far...) We've made our first major goal - finding Exit Zero! (Photographic proof to follow tomorrow.) We're here. We've checked in with the family, we have a room in the "granny cottage" adjacent to the historical family home at 314, and we're off the road for the next couple days while much of America goes off traveling for Labor Day weekend. Not us -- we've arrived.

The day started in St. Louis, with a return visit to Tiffany's Diner. The still very onery Janet was not at all impressed that we came back for the pork steak. "You said you were gonna'..." she said, and you got the feeling that yesterday's oral agreement would be considered a legally binding contract in time-worn diners across the country.

Today, we were treated to an American diner classic - pork steak with gravy, mashed potatoes similarly attired, and a vegetable side. (Colin went for corn; Emily picked green beans.) The dish came with two slices of white bread, whipped butter spread, and jam. Janet has a standing offer: If you can't cut your pork steak with only your fork, it's on her. That's how tender the pork steak is. (Janet confided she's never had to pay off.) And it was true; you had a knife, but you didn't need a knife to enjoy the rich pork goodness, smothered in sauce and gravy, of this middle America diner classic dish.

We also struck up a conversation with Terri, a local driver and long-time regular at Tiffany's, who made fun of Emily for being a "Valley Girl." (Terri had some Orange County in her background, so that was cool...) Terri brought with her the tragic news that all Steak and Shake locations were now smoke-free. This was most definitely not the case at Tiffany's, where at the single row of diner counter seats, ashtrays outnumbered salt and pepper shakers. Terri was both a kick and a hoot, her byplay with Janet filled with the faux-contempt between customer and cook, rooted in a deep affection.

Later, we found out that the regulars at Tiffany's had hired an Elvis impersonator to perform for Janet on her birthday earlier this year. In between tending to other customers and refilling our beverages, Janet told us of dreams - of working three more years, paying off debts, retiring and vacationing to Graceland, taking care of elderly, arthritic dogs... a wonderful, caring, nurturing and most genuine and authentic American voice.

If it's not obvious, we love Janet.

Rockstar/lawyer Robynn gave us one last tour around the St. Louis area, then it was back on the road. A four-hour blast from St. Louis to Louisville ... and yet again, Colin and Emily blew the time zone thing, arriving an hour later than they had promised because of this "you'd think they'd eventually learn" miscalculation. Sigh...

Tonight - Emily had her first (but not last) visit to White Castle, we managed to sneak in a preview shopping visit to Ear X-tacy Records, and we finished the night at Heine Brothers Coffee. But the brothers are shutting down for the night, and so are we. More to come over the
Labor Day weekend, but posting might be a little light, as we're committed to a bunch of family reunion type activities. We're headed back on the road, and back for home, on Tuesday. How the time does fly...

Current Location:

DAY 7 & 8: Museums-Food-Rockstars-Food-Museums-Food

Yesterday (Day 7) the plan was to wake up, have a quick breakfast at Chubby's (recommended by a local Kansas City pharmacist), quickly go through the American Jazz and Negro League Baseball Museums and then head out to the Truman Library on our way to St. Louis. We were to arrive in St. Louis around 5 p.m.

Yeah, right.

The morning got off to a rough start. Emily fell, scraping a knee and jamming a toe pretty badly. Also bruised: her right shin and her ego. Colin, her knight in shining armor, quickly came to her rescue with ice from our cooler and thus a second trip to the emergency room was avoided. However, the fall and nursing of the injuries put us a bit behind schedule.

We did eventually check out of the hotel and took some time to explore (by car) more Kansas City neighborhoods. We then made our way to Chubby's and were relieved to find they were now open. (We had tried going to Chubby's - open 24 hours - late Monday night, to find they were closed. Odd hours, to say the least...)

After our very filling, mmmmmm so good breakfast, we drove on over to 18th and Vine, the heart of Kansas City's African American community between the 1920s and 1960s. There we toured the American Jazz and Negro Leage Baseball museums. We had been told that these museums would take no more than a half hour to go through, each. Instead, they took us a good four hours, and we could have stayed for more.

The nice thing, as previously noted, about touring all of these great tourist attractions at this time of year is the fact that school is back in session (for the most part), and the tourists have gone (for the most part), but the museums and attractions are all still open for their extended pre-Labor Day hours. (After Labor Day, things are going to be closing much earlier, closed on more days, etc.) And so we have been very, very lucky to run in to a series of helpful museum and tourist guides who are more than happy to give us personalized attention. At the Jazz Museum, this meant the helpful guidance of a man who was obviously part of the original jazz scene in the city, and took special pride in sharing information about Kansas City's past, as well as its present.

Final thought: This neighborhood and these museums are a must see. They give you a glimpse into such a rich and moving part of American History.

Because the museums took an unexpected extra 3 1/2 hours out of our day, we had to abandon our Truman Library plan and went to Arthur Bryant's instead for some final KC BBQ (always a good back up plan). One thing we discovered in Kansas City is that there is so much to do and see. We'll be back to go to the Truman Library, City Market, The Parks, the innumerable museums, etc. A day and a half just wasn't enough.

The ride to St. Louis was pretty straightforward; Colin drove, and Emily slept until we hit the roadside attraction called "Nostalgiaville" where we got out to stretch our legs and take a trip down Memory Lane. (Colin found a cool Route 66 shirt, but not in his size; when he asked about it, he was told that was "last season's model." Last season? Shouldn't it be more than a year old to be in Nostalgiaville?) Also, because the WiFi connection had gone down in our 3 diamond Triple A rated quasi-nightmare of a Kansas City hotel, we pulled into the parking lot of the nearby Days Inn and, pirate-style, used their WiFi to publish Monday Night's blog (we did it for you, our adoring fans).

Finally around 8:30 p.m. we arrived at our favorite hotel thus far, Rockstar/Lawyer Robynn Ragland's humble abode! She greeted us with smoothies and hugs and we could just relax. Later we played poker and she took all our money. (So much for the relaxing!)

In the morning (yay, the start of another day without driving) we went to a super local eatery, Tiffany's Diner. No tables, nothing but a prototypical Formica counter filled with regulars and ashtrays. We met Janet, an ornery waitress/short order cook. The food was greasy delicious (a common theme during this trip), and Janet encouraged us to return the next day for the pork steaks. We wouldn't miss it.

Finally, after some brief antiquing, we went to one of the absolute highlights of the trip, the St. Louis City Museum. Sounds historical and dry, doesn't it? It's not. It's a wonderland. A literal wonderland. Step through the portal and enter another world, a world of dragons and monsters and caves and climbing, and metal and slides, and beads and crafting and mosaics and sculpture, and painting and art and fish and water and knots and ropes and slinkys and slides (did we mention the slides?) and fun and fun and fun.

And Charles.

Charles, the latest of those museum guides who we keep running in to. Charles, who made sure that, when we were just about finished for the day, pushed us to a new level, by making sure we climbed through the four story jungle gym to slide down the four story slide. Charles, who made sure we climbed in to the giant ball pit, and engaged in some good natured ball pit fun with another group of tourists. Charles, who told us all about the museum's Wonka-like benefactor, a sculptor, who reportedly lives on the property, and recycles objects from all over the world into his unique and unforgettable playground.

Emily fell. Again. Left leg, this time, along with her right arm, left toe and left ankle ("and right wrist, too!'), and re-bruising her ego. This was a major league tumble; a true "header," ass over teakettle. On metal, not the most forgiving of surfaces. "You okay?" yelled Charles. "I'm fine!" said Emily, trying to avoid tears. Colin, trapped in the middle of a metallic chrysalis, four stories up, couldn't help Emily now, and, fortunately, hadn't seen how bad the fall was. But Emily is a trooper, sucked it up, and continued on with the fun.

And it was fun. Highest recommendation.

This being St. Louis, and us being tourists, we then headed down to the famed Gateway Arch. Again, there was no waiting. Buy a ticket, zip right to the top, stay as long as you want (we wanted about a half hour), then zip back down. We checked out more shops and museums, then called it a day. On our way back to Ragland Castle, we picked up a local delicacy, Ted Drewes Frozen Custard, for desert, as Robynn and her boyfriend Steven had made us a very, very delicious Beer Butt Chicken for dinner. Wonderful hospitality, wonderful chicken, and the custard was pretty damn good, too.

Now, just one leg left on the journey out (Emily may be down to fewer than that) -- headed to Clarksville, and the big damn family reunion. Wish us luck!

Here's some bonus photos from City Museum:









Current Mood: Almost there...

Current Location:

DAY SEVEN: Safely in St. Louis

More details to follow, but we've made it to St. Louis, after extending our Kansas City stay by a just a bit. Had a wonderful morning of breakfast at local diner legend "Chubby's," spent several hours in the Jazz and Negro League museums, hit Arthur Bryant's (again) for a going out of town lunch, and then headed out on Interstate 70 for the relatively quick jaunt to St. Louis. More photos and details to come. For now, enjoy this bonus photo, of Car Woody at Zion National Park.